Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion

WC Fields

A lot of people don’t understand betting “lines.” The line is the number that theoretically makes the teams even – 50/50.  If you ignore this number and make a straight bet (without “points”), you’re immediately at a disadvantage … or an advantage if you can find a Giants fan to bet on the team without points – there are plenty of them around. Betters  love “fans” who bet with their hearts, not their heads.

Las Vegas is the “god” that determines the points after decades of experience – and they’re usually pretty close. Las Vegas says the New England Patriots will win tomorrow by 3 points or more. Points are so common in football, they list them in the Sports section of many newspapers although most commercial betting is illegal.

Tomorrow if the Pats only win by a point or two (say 27 – 26), YOU win if you bet Giants +3 Points (just add 3 to their score.)

If someone wants to bet you $10-bucks that the Patriots will win – YOU say, “I’ll give you Patriots MINUS 3-points” to make it fair.  Of course if someone says, “I’ll bet the Giants will win” (no points mentioned) take the bet!  As WC Fields said, “Never give a sucker an even break.”

PAOLO PREDICTION: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS  -3

The Climax is a modern British Sports Car designed for the times in which we live.  It offers a fast, environmentally-friendly, ergonomic, and fuel-efficient driving experience. Full-scale production is coming soon – so they say.

I hope production models include doors.

Is this woman having a climax or NOT having one?

Conservative Republicans reported the highest frequency of orgasms but the least amount of sex. At least that’s what 5,000 anonymous singles over 21 said in a recent online survey conducted by Match.com

Almost all Republicans said they had an orgasm every time they had sexual contacts.  Liberal Democrats? A dismal 40%.  However, the Dems had sex many more times than their counterparts in the last 12-months.

My take?  A large percentage of people lie in anonymous sex polls and this one didn’t ask my favorite sex question: “During a climax, whose name do atheists call out?”

dailycaller.com

Brazil’s Tourist Board thought it a good idea to put up a 3-story replica of Rio de Janeiro’s Christ the Redeemer statue in a London park. London is the site of the 2012 Olympic Games and Primrose Hill is a rather posh park with big money neighbors like Gwynne Paltrow and Jude Law.

Rio de Janeiro is the site of the 2016 games and Brazil thought it would be good advertising.

The Brits were horrified.

Malcolm Kafetz, the chair of ‘Friends of Primrose Hill’, said “We don’t want any advertising in the royal parks. Otherwise we’ll have Coca-Cola there soon enough.”

First, of course, Brazil would have to get permission from the the Royal Parks Commission to use the city’s green spaces.  Their chance of getting it is roughly equal to having a huge, half-naked Mardi Gras conga line dance through Buckingham Palace led by a topless Queen.

“Don’t Know – Never Looked”

Old Joke: 1945. After escaping Nazi Germany,  Adolph Hitler finally makes it to Venezuela. He immediately meets with Hermann Göring, Commander of the Luftwaffe.

“Fuehrer,” says Göring, “we’re all here!  We want to get together again and take over the world!”

“OK.” says Hitler, “But this time – no more Mr. Nice Guy.”

Everyone knew it would happen sooner or later.  Kindly, grandfatherly, old Newt Gingrich would explode at “something” just like he used to do as Speaker of the House.  Over the weekend he went ballistic on Mitt Romney.  Romney, the leading Republican Presidential contender, has lots of campaign money and a 19% lead in the Florida primary.  Gingrich is sliding in the polls and broke – and pissed.

In the latest debates, Gingrich appeared tired as he focused on Romney.

“I’m standing there thinking to myself, ‘You think you can lie your way to the presidency? There was no way in that kind of setting to demonstrate to people what a fundamentally dishonest man I was up against.”

“Liar” might be pretty hard to explain away when Romney becomes the Republican nominee.  But it probably doesn’t matter anyway – looks like it’s going to be Barrack “I’ll Bombya” as he drones on for another four years.

10. “Better wear a condom.  I don’t want to get HIV again.”

9. “I wasn’t laughing at that!”

8. “What the HELL are you doing down there?”

7. “Are you late for something?”

6. “Wanna map?”

5. “Do all white guys do that?”

4. “Give me a few seconds to think of someone.”

3. “Wow. I can really see your bald spot from this angle.”

2. “Aww…doesn’t Mr. Jimmy want to come out and play?”

1. “In yet?”