Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion

In Victorian England, there were many things about Dr. William Palmer on which everyone agreed: he was overly fond of women, gambling, most types of fraud, and he was heavily in debt.

The thing on which people could not agree was if he was or was not - a serial, strychnine murderer who killed more than a dozen people including his wife, his mother-in-law, four out of five of his children, and a half dozen other people he knew.

One reason the English were divided on Palmer was because strychnine was a new, relatively uncommon drug, never before introduced in court as a tool of murder. However when Dr. Palmer and his little bottle of clear liquid were around, an awful lot of people started dropping dead with the same symptoms. Finally, a jury decided the issue by finding him guilty of at least one murder and sentencing him to death by public hanging.

On June 14, 1856, Dr. Palmer was led up the stairs of the gallows and demonstrated at least one more trait on which everyone could agree: the guy had a great sense of humor. At the top step, Palmer put one foot on the scaffolding, turned to the guard and said, “Are you sure this thing is safe?”

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TOMORROW: Palin in a Bikini Holding a Gun (You won’t believe this one!)

A RECYCLED PRESENTATION - 1st Posted March 31, 2008

People seem to love ‘riches-to-rags’ stories more than those that go from ‘rags-to-riches’. Remember Buckwheat - the Black child on the ‘Our Gang’ comedies? In the series, he was almost as popular as Spanky and Alfalfa and was famous for his phrase, “O-tay!” What became of him?

Many little rascals grew up to be big rascals. Trouble seemed to plague the players from strange deaths to suicides - even to murder. Carl Switzer, who played Alfalfa, was shot to death over a $50 debt - he was 31. As a matter of fact, he was shot once before but survived. Strange? How many people can say they were shot on two different occasions?

But what happened to William Thomas, the young actor who played Buckwheat and then took a dive into oblivion? The respected investigative reporting show, 20/20 of ABC, decided to find out. In October, 1990, the show claimed it had tracked down Buckwheat to Tempe, Arizona where, sadly, he worked as a grocery bagger. In the televised interview. ‘Buckwheat’ told his sad tale and many viewers felt sorry for him. It was a great ‘riches-to-rags’ story except for one thing: the real Buckwheat, William Thomas, died over 10-years before the 20/20 show. His impostor, Bill English, pretended to be Buckwheat for over 30-years! Uh, oh.

Within a week, a red-faced ABC admitted its mistake, fired the producer of the piece - and was sued by the child star’s son.

William Thomas wouldn’t have liked any of this. He was a quiet, modest man, who worked for many years in Hollywood as a film lab technician. And he never could understand the nostalgia that was making famous, once again, the ‘Our Gang’ series which made him a fleeting star.

Nonetheless, in 1980, Mr. Thomas graciously accepted an invitation to a ‘Nostalgia TV’ convention. He doubted many people would even remember ‘Our Gang’ - much less what he considered his minor contribution. He was wrong. Even before his introduction was finished, the audience burst into a spontaneous, loud and long, standing ovation which moved him to tears.

It was Buckwheat’s last shining moment. Just three months later, Mr. William Thomas dropped dead of a heart attack. He was 49.

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A RECYCLED PRESENTATION - 1st Posted on Memorial Day, 2008

Did you have a cookout today? Many Americans did because it’s a tradition. The husband (usually) drags out the Webber grill, fills it with old charcoal (vintage: Memorial Day, 2007), dumps on too much lighter fluid (a definite lack of creativity naming this product), lights it, and then jumps back from the 2-foot flames.

“I’ll be ready for those steaks in about 10-minutes!” he shouts to his eye-rolling wife who is just thankful he didn’t set the house on fire. Then Dad fixes himself another drink - his third. He thinks, “if I can just get through this bullshit before 1:00 PM, I can still catch the first inning of the Yankee game”. The kids groan when they see a backyard inferno like they haven’t seen since the newscasts of the California wildfires. Ahh, charred rawhide for dinner-again this year. The charcoal briquettes might be easier to eat.

“MOM! Can we go to McDonalds?”

”No!” she yells back. “We’re a family - and families cook and eat outdoors together on Memorial Day. It’s important to your Father.”

Louder groans. “Why?” one yells.

“God friggin’ knows… ,” she thinks as she scoops salads onto serving plates from plastic containers bought at Wegmans.

“Go set the table! Use the paper plates and plastic silverware.” More groans. Even before the kids find the long lost picnic supplies, the wind picks up and a new species of fruit fly is attracted to the smell of burning meat. Finally the family is seated. Paper plates are held down by mayonnaisey salads and one hand - as the other tries to shoo away the unrelenting insects.

And despite the fact that everything on the grill is now uniformly burnt to a crispy black, Dad asks the punch line question, “How would you like your steak?”

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Republican Vice President Candidate Sarah Palin in 1984. Pretty? Definitely. VP material? Are you out of your freakin’ mind? McSame at least has a sense of humor. This lady was Mayor of a town in Alaska that is so small the residents take turns being the town fool. Two years of that type of intensity and then she’s off to be Governor of the state which has the fewest people spread over the most land in the country.

I got more experience being President of my high school’s Student Council.

If elected, the only thing standing between Ms. Palin and the Presidency of the United States is an old guy who’s had a few bouts with cancer and is senile enough to choose her.

Shall we laugh or cry? You decide.

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To me, if your heart isn’t torn when you see an infant who has starved to death, you’re just a hairless ape. As a matter of fact, if the picture above doesn’t move you, why don’t you go to someone else’s Blog? I really don’t want you around mine.

Peoples’ minds must filter out most of what we see, hear, and feel - or else we would go mad. I get depressed when I see pictures like this - it’s hard for me to move on and leave the image behind. And then I remember a thought that’s even more depressing.

One of the strongest drives in human beings is the need to procreate - to carry on the species. It’s genetically hard wired in us and can never change. Which means if - by some miracle - this dead child were brought back to life and nursed to health and adulthood, one of the first things she would want to do - would NEED to do - is have MORE children. Pitifully, there will ALWAYS be an overpopulation of children who must have even more children whom they cannot feed - many of whom will starve to death.

And what can we do about it?  Absolutely nothing.

Uh……oh - sorry. Hey! How did the USA Womens’ Volleyball Team do at the Olympics?

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